Tripping Not Falling

I am disgusted with myself.

Deep seeded, root growing festering anger toward myself.

Is it healthy to think this way?  Doubt it.

Do I care if it’s healthy?  Not particularly

Why?  Why do I loathe my own being?

Simple. 

I cannot do a simple 21 day challenge.

I couldn’t do it?

Couldn’t say no.

It’s not that damn hard I’ve heard, then why is it so damn hard for me?

Am I going to be fighting this the rest of my life?

Most likely I think.

Well like the title states, I am not falling.

I tripped this weekend, had a couple drinks Saturday, had to smoke.

Yep had 4 cigarettes, were great then, hate myself now.

Sunday, had pizza!  And not just like a slice, nope,

A WHOLE, COMPLETE, ENTIRE PIZZA

Hate myself for it

It’s ok though, almost just lost it with this morning sprints, should be good for lunchtime’s Insanity workout, gonna turn it to muscle…

But for now, hate is what I have.